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Another List of Rejected Guides |
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Written by Andy
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Friday, 07 March 2008 |
 A long time ago, I came up with a list of rejected guides that I had. Back in the day, I would ponder about 15 different guides a day, only to eventually use one in the span of a month. Well, I've been coming up with some pretty screwed up guides again, and I really don't want to elaborate on them - but I think the names are pretty funny. Here's my list of Rejected Guides for 2008 - part 1.
1.HOW TO LIE ABOUT THE RED STUFF LEAKING OUT OF YOUR BODY
2.HOW TO DRAW A PENTAGRAM THE RETARDED WAY
3.HOW TO GET A RETARD TO SHUT UP WITHOUT TOUCHING HIM/HER
4.HOW TO BLAME YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR THE FIRE
5.HOW TO CHOP YOUR PENIS OFF IN THREE DIFFERENT PLACES
6.HOW TO MEET PEOPLE THAT ONLY YOU CAN SEE - BUT USUALLY DON'T GET ALONG WITH
7.WHERE TO MEET BOYS THAT YOUR PARENTS WON'T APPROVE OF
8.HOW TO GET THE SMELL OF FEAR OFF YOUR BODY
9.HOW TO BLEND IN WITH A FAMILY OF BLENDERS
10.HOW TO GET SHOT - THE CHILDISH WAY
11.A GUIDE FOR NURSING HOME NEGLECT
12.A GUIDE FOR TURNING A PERSON OF COLOR INTO BLACK AND WHITE
13.A MUSICAL GUIDE FOR CHANTING AT A NIGHTLY MEETING
14.HOW TO LIE YOUR WAY THROUGH NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
15.HOW TO FRAME 10 DIFFERENT THINGS IN 10 MINUTES OR LESS
16.HOW TO HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF BUSTING UP YOUR BEST FRIENDS WEDDING
17.HOW TO ACT LIKE A VIRGIN - AMERICAN STYLE
18.HOW TO MAKE IT AS A COUNTRY MUSIC LEGEND - IN 10 SECONDS
19.A GUIDE FOR GIRLS WHO THINK THEY NEED DIRECTION
20.A GUIDE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE HIGH SELF ESTEEM AND DON'T NEED GUIDES
21.HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO STEAL - GUILT FREE
22.HOW TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A GHOST
23.HOW TO DRINK OTHER PEOPLE'S BODILY FLUIDS AND PROFIT OFF IT
24.HOW TO JUMP THE SHARK
25.A GUIDE FOR ALTERNATIVE RELIGIONS AND HOW THEY AFFECT YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE
26.HOW TO SHOWER WITHOUT GETTING YOURSELF WET
27.HOW TO GET ALONG GREAT IN A JOB INTERVIEW AND STILL NOT GET THE JOB
28.HOW TO JOIN A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD USING MAGIC
29.HOW TO STAND IN LINE AND NOT FREAK OUT LIKE A BABY
30.HOW TO WEAR THE PANTS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN THE GIRL IS NOT AROUND
31.A GUIDE FOR CONDUCTING ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES ON SCHOOL PROPERTY
32.HOW TO BECOME THE CREEPY OLD MAN THAT PARENTS WARN THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT
33.A GUIDE TO PROPERLY PRONOUNCING THE WORLD CARAMEL
34.A GUIDE TO MAKING A PEANUT BUTTER, JELLY, AND OVARIAN SANDWICH
35.HOW TO GROSS YOURSELF OUT IF YOU CAN NOT BE GROSSED OUT
36.A GUIDE TO FINDING NEVERLAND
37.HOW TO ACT AS THOUGH YOU DON'T LIKE CELEBRITY GOSSIP
38.HOW TO TURN YOUR SKIN ORANGE
39.A GUIDE ON EVERYTHING MEN NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TAMPONS
40.HOW TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT WORLD OF WARCRAFT IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF LIFE
41.A GUIDE ON MAKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LOOK AT THE INTERNET
42.HOW TO MAKE PORN - THE ICKY WAY
43.HOW TO MASS-PRODUCE THINGS THAT CANNOT BE MASS-PRODUCED
44.HOW TO MAKE CLEVER BUMPER STICKERS THAT PEOPLE MAY OR MAY NOT BUY
45.A GUIDE FOR READING CALENDERS THE CORRECT WAY
46.A GUIDE FOR BEING LATE TO WORK TWICE IN ONE WEEK
47.HOW TO CURE CONSTIPATION WITHOUT USING THE BATHROOM
48.HOW TO PUBLISH YOUR SUICIDE NOTE AND STILL PROFIT FROM IT
49.HOW TO ACT IN GAY PORN AND STILL CONSIDER YOURSELF STRAIGHT
50.HOW TO COUNT TO FIFTY WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 08 March 2008 )
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