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What Doesn't Kill me may Only Make me Stronger |
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Written by Andy
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Monday, 30 March 2009 |
 Boy, I'm a thrifty bastard. About 2 years ago when I bought my very first house I didn't have much money to spend on anything. Brand X was my brand of choice. If it wasn't on clearance, I didn't want it. Hell, I even bought the cardboard-like toilet paper (because it came in a 4-pack for 99 cents!). Another thing I opted for the cheaper version of was a 7-piece set of pots and pans. It was dirt cheap. It was below quality. It was the absolute cheapest set of run-of-the-mill pots and pans that I could possibly find without breaking into a house and stealing some. It was exactly what somebody like myself would have bought.
Over the past 2 years, I've been cooking a lot more in my home to save on money. One of the major things I like to make is pasta. It's cheap, filling, tastes great, and makes people think that I have some skills in the kitchen. Well, my pots have started to flake off on the bottom and it's my opinion that they were slowly killing me. There have been flakes of black material on all my pasta shells when I finished cooking them. This makes me nervous. It could be killing me, but slowly. If I'm gonna die, we might as well speed this process up.
So, I finally decided to do something about it. I went out today and bought a NEW pot for cooking! I spent some major bucks, but now I know that I have a high-end pot for making my favorite pasta dishes. But I don't have to just make pasta. What if I just want to boil water? Or maybe I'll have a hankering for melting some cheese in it. Or maybe I'll serve up some chicken gumbo! Who knows what the future will hold for me and POTSY? We're gonna have a great life together.
I can't wait to throw that other crap away that used to call itself my pots. I'm gonna drop kick them into my garbage can tomorrow morning. I'll slam dunk them into the trash while Tone Loc's LOC'D AFTER DARK plays in my head. It's gonna be a brutal but well-deserved punishment for my old pots. They have no idea what's about to happen. The only thing I can compare it to is that one scene in GOOD FELLAS where those guys kill that other guy and stick him in the trunk of their car. Well, that's like a lot of movies. If you haven't seen GOOD FELLAS then just imagine any movie involving gangsters, people being hurt, and trunks of cars. It's all the same. But that's what tomorrow morning is going to look like between me and the old pots.
And, while I'm doing all of this, I'll make sure that my new pot looks on from the distance so it knows what will happen if it ever needs to be replaced. It had better behave. The consequences aren't looking too pretty right now.
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 25 March 2009 )
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