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Written by Andy
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Sunday, 22 October 2006 |
 Hello everyone. I'm going to level with you. I'm horrible at introductions. Sometimes people tell me I'm pretty good at speeches and seminars and psychic conventions... but the truth is that I'm very nervous.
"What if they don't like me?"
"What about the extra weight I've been carrying?"
"What about my trip to Eruope?"
"What if my feet sweat wine?"
"What if my friend gets married to a girl who still has a penis?"
So, here it is. The BIGGEST LETDOWN! I had a speech all lined up and ready for you, but I think I'm just going to type from my heart. My heart hasn't let me down yet. Apparently it's always working - even when I'm asleep. Just think - if we all lived in a Communist World, we'd all be working nonstop, 24-hours a day, too! Just think of all the work we'd get done!
Welcome to the Biggest Letdown! Damn, that doesn't sound exciting enough. I mean, this is a BRAND NEW website, boys and girls! There should be fireworks, and balloons, and carnival freaks, and fun rides and shit! There should be images of girls blowing donkeys on a table! Let's fucking throw some of these mother-fucking chairs at the cock-tard windows! Fucking shit, folks! Let's beat up the cyber geeks who watch cartoons all day and dream about living in the World of Warcraft! Let's tear this website a new asshole! Then let's fill that asshole with jelly and peanut butter and have ourselves a little midnight snack! I'm talking about total fucking anarchy on an internet scale! This is it, folks! This is the time to shine! Grab some weapons and let's start scaring the other sites out there! Look out Barney! Look out Tele-Tubbies! I'm coming to slice your fucking throat, Jib-Jab! You'll know that Hell has been brought down on you when you see the sailing ship of the Biggest Letdown driving into your town from the Information SuperHighway! You'll be thinking "Oh for the love of Fuck-sake! Not those guys! They're bad news!! They're gonna kill me!!!" And we will! We'll rip out your heart and shove it into your rectal areas! Viva La BIGGEST LETDOWN!!!!!
So... um, yeah. That's the new site, in a nutshell. Check it out. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 23 October 2006 )
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