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Written by Andy
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Monday, 05 February 2007 |
 A week or so ago, I attended the funeral of Sunburst Records - a truely independant record and CD store. It survived 21 years of business, a horrible fire, and the age of cassette tapes. What put the final nail in the coffin must have been online MP3's and IPOD systems.
On the last night of operation hundreds of friends - new and old - came by to pay their respects and to rummage through all that Jay (the owner) had left. When I was shuffling through the last few bins of music, I stumbled across this gem. Now, I won't lie to you. The main (or only) reason I bought this album was because of the cover art. There's a semi-nude girl licking a snake. The graphics look like they were done in some extinct computer photo-enhancing program. It just looks terrible. On the inside of the cover, this girl has another pose where she is holding her naked tits. Hot stuff. I don't have the album cover on here because I can't find a picture on the internet, and I can't scan it in properly. Just rest assured that there was a girl who was mostly naked and she was licking a snake. Use some imagination here, folks.
Apparently this is a compliation from a humor/metal/horror/nudist magazine called Grimoire. I did some searching on the internet, and I found their current website. Warning: This site contains adult subject matter. Viewers be warned.
Ok, so back to the CD. This is truely obsurd. From weird metal chants and chords, to digital synth remixes, to screaming hair metal bands - this album is enough to confuse anyone listening. I bought it in the USED ALBUM bin, and I can see why someone would sell it. Aside from the unprofessional pictures of their model on the front/back/inside covers, this album isn't worth owning. I bought it for a dollar.... worth every penny.
In fact, I would only say that it was worth the purchase because it led me to the Grimoire website - to look at more naked girls. Hell, that's a neat way of advertising. Put out a shitty metal compilation just to make someone pay to find the address to your website and look at amateur exhibition porn. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe I should finally get the fellas together and start up my demo-band "Ultra Wicked Nostalgia". We'd release an album - but instead of music, it would be audio tracks of us telling people where to look on the internet for free porn. Shit, that's terrific! I'm gonna go do that right now!!! Thanks, Grimoire! You guys have helped me out!
And just for that, I'll tell everyone to go to your website and look at your girls! But, as far as your CD, it needs a little bit of work... |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 05 February 2007 )
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